I hung up the phone Monday night feeling kind of like a bitch. Cooperation preceded the feeling. I called Bob to ask about a sore on Julieanne’s hand and foot and a sudden fear of the police. At the end of the fight-free conversation, I thought, wow, I really demonize him sometimes. And then the [...]

As time marches on and I find more and more support on the blog and in real life, I find that it becomes harder and harder to be objective about everything. Not that anyone is ever 100% objective about anything, but I have always tried very hard to see both sides of a battle and [...]

I realize today that I write therapeutically. It’s why I can be honest and why it’s hard for me to keep my mouth shut sometimes. Seeing my thoughts on paper and reading comments is immensely helpful. But I’m not all the way there. Since Bob and I first separated, I have filled out numerous doctor’s [...]

I can be a real bitch sometimes, and I know it. I’m not proud of it, but don’t think that with all my stories that I think for a second that I am always innocent and always a victim. It used to be that way, to me anyways– I bet Bob would disagree, and strongly, [...]

I’ve been a bit on the chunky side since hitting puberty. Nutrition and exercise were not emphasized in my family. When I finally became an adult and lived outside of the dorms for the first time, I had just married Bob. Very overweight himself, we decided to try Weight Watchers online. I learned a lot [...]

The same games Bob played on me while married he has been playing on me while divorced. Really, in retrospect, I should have seen it. I suspected it would happen this way when he suddenly changed from wanting to leave the state to desperately needing to have Julieanne. Nevertheless, I tend to believe the best [...]

Someone asked me a few days ago what my everyday life was like with Bob. How did he react to my changing beliefs? That sort of thing. Really, I haven’t really written anything about it because it’s actually quite boring. I have been working on this post for several days, trying to remember the interesting [...]

Really, after all is said and done, I am kind of glad my ex husband did what he did because it gave me the push I needed to get out of that marriage. Sure, the road has been hard, but a different kind of hard. The kind of hard that you know you can overcome [...]

In the beginning, I thought I had a good marriage. On the surface, it kind of was. It looked very good to the women I admired and who mentored me as a high schooler: he did have a romantic streak, and he showered me with attempts at romance and kindness: making dinner, flowers, candlelit baths, [...]

I realized today precisely why I believed that everything that happened to end my marriage was my fault. It’s because everything in the conservative Christian life is your fault. When you are depressed, you are just not praying hard enough, not forgiving enough, not submissive enough, not good enough (couched in the euphemism “there is [...]