I was an Undergrad for 9+ years and I was full time all the way with several heavy summer semesters thrown in so I know what it’s like to drown in academia. You really have to convince yourself that you’re good at it, good at it to be satisfied with yourself. If you really think you’re good at it, then you will like it. I’d love the chance to go back to school and take anything.

Build up your mental muscles!

How would you know your wife loves what she does? You show no aptitude for listening.

And you tempt me to strive for power (which has never been one of my goals.) If i could get you off the internet and make you mute for a few weeks so other people around you would have a chance to speak their piece and you’d be forced to listen, I’d grab that power in an instant.

You have a picture of life that you grew up with that you will always consider normal. It is just the way you were raised. I know most folks believe that a woman should have a career, work, be independent, never rely on man, throw the kids into day care and strive for power; however, most women are not built this way.

I think contrary to popular belief, a woman wants to be loved and feel secure which is exactly what the Bible teaches. Why do you think your Mom loved Christianity? Christianity provides a justification for the life she really wanted. You just had a selfish husband which is something the Bible totally condemns, selfishness…

It is not wrong to work outside the home, have a career, etc… It is just not ideal for most women since it really does not fill a need in their life. I know my wife loves being part of the social life, running the life of our kids, even running my life. She loves knowing that their is gas in the car, that we have friends in church, have a social life with Christians, etc.. She is always busy socializing, talking, doing, running and when you gets to busy, she can always slow down and take it easy when she needs to. She has absolutely no desire to work outside the home when her home life provides so much security and love.

I make sure she has a lot of opportunities to follow… I something create opportunities for her just to make sure she has options to follow if life gets to slow.

I love my wife. She is my greatest joy, reward, love and she is my life. I think about her everyday day. There isn’t a moment when I think something bad about her. She is the most wonderful, beautiful, fun and enjoyable person I can ever imagine being with… I am able to love her and provide that security for her because I know the love of God. My love for her is not dependent on what she does for me; rather, I love her simply for who she is at every moment because that is what God calls me to do… Our love for each other is growing which is what love is suppose to do in a marriage…

God Bless..

On chocolate: I recommend buying really good chocolate (like Theo – the name’s from Theobroma cacao, the chocolate tree, nothing to do with god). That way you can only afford a little bit, but it’s so good that it’s fun to savor small pieces.

Forgoing a training run, I allowed myself serious time Thursday morning to breathe, meditate and really forgive and accept all that I am and to remind myself that I have may have to do it over and over as the pain lessens. I imagined my emotional self, intellectual self, and physical self forgiving and accepting each other (although intellectual self was a little reluctant to accept the forgiveness…dang sarcophobia, it’s the hardest piece of indoctrination for me to get over). Wow, I have not felt that good in a while. I felt whole, complete and alive.

Today, I felt a little less invigorated, but less inclined to be self-critical. I’m sure down the road that things will pile up, old habits will creep in, and I’ll get overwhelmed again. There are things I still have to deal with…the reason I may have to be self-dependent. But, from following your blog and the thoughtful comments you receive, I see I’m only human. I’m not alone. People have experienced, for different reasons, a lot of the same emotions you have. You’re not alone. I’m not alone, and knowing that has made a big difference.

I am sorry for your feelings and resonate with you. You have permission to wallow. It’s kinda like detoxing and making sure you get it all out. My thought on chocolate…it doesn’t heal a broken heart, but it stops the bleeding, especially if you take the time to really savor a small piece.

Warm hugs

Rosa, I’m going to look up Lucy March. Sounds like more good stuff.

It is ok to be overwhelmed, and feel that way. Trust me, this is a long process, and you will have good days and bad.

Keep Smiling. Keep Fighting. Remember what is important. You will get there.

Jo

It’s OK to wallow! Please do! You need to reload your emotional batteries, not only for yourself but also for your daughter & husband.
Just want to let you know that I read your blog every day and I love it. You are so strong & funny.
I am thinking of you…

Big Hug – Eliza

I want to suggest two totally fun things to read.

One is Jennifer Crusie’s book Fast Women, which is a post-divorce murder mystery romance, very light, very funny, very very smart, and totally cathartic.

And the other is Lucy March’s blog which is about divorce and finding yourself and unconditional love and not having to be perfect. It’s about 100% religion-free – not pro, not con, just not an issue at all.

LucyMarch.com (these two suggestions are related; “Lucy” is Jenny Crusie’s roomate and sometimes writing partner).