Comments on: The Virginity Fallacy http://www.redheadedskeptic.com/2009/09/24/the-virginity-fallacy/ Fri, 12 Mar 2010 06:04:19 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: Ruby Leigh http://www.redheadedskeptic.com/2009/09/24/the-virginity-fallacy/comment-page-1/#comment-3071 Ruby Leigh Sat, 09 Jan 2010 22:21:21 +0000 http://redheadedskeptic.com/?p=2247#comment-3071 I have sort of an interesting story in regards to "co-habiting." I was raised with the belief that is was wrong, but after I became engaged it became a literal logistical nightmare to avoid - so I moved in with the now hubby (to the house which we owned). Now the second part of this is I still waited until I was married to have sex (something my parents do not believe). While, it does show that I have some will power (go me!), if I had to do it again I would probably not choose that route. Adjusting to a relationship w/sex takes more than one magical night (at least for me) and no one had told me anything honest about sex (I had to go all of reading materials). Also, enjoyment of sex comes partly from surprise - planning the event 7 months in advance was in retrospec a poor choice - too much expectation. I have sort of an interesting story in regards to “co-habiting.” I was raised with the belief that is was wrong, but after I became engaged it became a literal logistical nightmare to avoid – so I moved in with the now hubby (to the house which we owned). Now the second part of this is I still waited until I was married to have sex (something my parents do not believe). While, it does show that I have some will power (go me!), if I had to do it again I would probably not choose that route. Adjusting to a relationship w/sex takes more than one magical night (at least for me) and no one had told me anything honest about sex (I had to go all of reading materials). Also, enjoyment of sex comes partly from surprise – planning the event 7 months in advance was in retrospec a poor choice – too much expectation.

]]> By: Nora http://www.redheadedskeptic.com/2009/09/24/the-virginity-fallacy/comment-page-1/#comment-2531 Nora Sun, 27 Dec 2009 23:15:25 +0000 http://redheadedskeptic.com/?p=2247#comment-2531 I was really worried about all the co-habitating statistics, and I had previously decided I never wanted to live with someone before we were married. Then I started dating my husband, and I had to move to CA. So either we tried a LDR (which neither of us thought we could do), or he moved into a separate apartment in CA. That just seemed stupid, since he had to quit his job to move with me. So I started looking into it, and it turns out that yes, co-habitating couples have higher rates of divorce, but couples who move in together with the intention of someday getting married (even if they are not formally engaged or even planning on it soon) are not adversely affected by the co-habitation. So, as you said, the danger is in people who move in together to see how it works out and then end up getting married because it seems like the next step. If you already see a future together with someone, living together before marriage shouldn't impact it. And even so, statistics are stastistics. Even if half of marriages do end in divorce...there are half that don't, and so it's a bit silly to base a decision on that. I was really worried about all the co-habitating statistics, and I had previously decided I never wanted to live with someone before we were married. Then I started dating my husband, and I had to move to CA. So either we tried a LDR (which neither of us thought we could do), or he moved into a separate apartment in CA. That just seemed stupid, since he had to quit his job to move with me. So I started looking into it, and it turns out that yes, co-habitating couples have higher rates of divorce, but couples who move in together with the intention of someday getting married (even if they are not formally engaged or even planning on it soon) are not adversely affected by the co-habitation. So, as you said, the danger is in people who move in together to see how it works out and then end up getting married because it seems like the next step. If you already see a future together with someone, living together before marriage shouldn’t impact it.

And even so, statistics are stastistics. Even if half of marriages do end in divorce…there are half that don’t, and so it’s a bit silly to base a decision on that.

]]> By: More On Abstinence « The Redheaded Skeptic http://www.redheadedskeptic.com/2009/09/24/the-virginity-fallacy/comment-page-1/#comment-1416 More On Abstinence « The Redheaded Skeptic Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:14:29 +0000 http://redheadedskeptic.com/?p=2247#comment-1416 [...] abstinence, feminism, pre-marital sex, virginity by Laura I have written several times about virginity and abstinence and how it’s overrated and can actually wreak havoc on one’s life. [...] [...] abstinence, feminism, pre-marital sex, virginity by Laura I have written several times about virginity and abstinence and how it’s overrated and can actually wreak havoc on one’s life. [...]

]]> By: Robert Madewell http://www.redheadedskeptic.com/2009/09/24/the-virginity-fallacy/comment-page-1/#comment-1417 Robert Madewell Fri, 25 Sep 2009 23:40:04 +0000 http://redheadedskeptic.com/?p=2247#comment-1417 There seems to be some superstition and mysticism surrounding virginity (esp. female virginity) in popular culture. I can't count the times guys in high school would brag about nailing a virgin. Not to mention the guys in Africa that believe that AIDS can be cured by having sex with a virgin. Often the virgin is a little girl and "having sex" is rape. Of course, that doesn't cure anything and now there's another little girl with AIDS in Africa. Even Jesus said that you can divorce a woman if she wasn't a virgin at the time of the wedding (Matthew 19:9). Often that verse is used to justify divorce in the case of infidelity. But, the word is fornication, which is the word used in the NT for pre-marital sex. If the verse meant infidelity, it would have used the word adultery. In the case of adultery? Just stone her to death. There seems to be some superstition and mysticism surrounding virginity (esp. female virginity) in popular culture. I can’t count the times guys in high school would brag about nailing a virgin.

Not to mention the guys in Africa that believe that AIDS can be cured by having sex with a virgin. Often the virgin is a little girl and “having sex” is rape. Of course, that doesn’t cure anything and now there’s another little girl with AIDS in Africa.

Even Jesus said that you can divorce a woman if she wasn’t a virgin at the time of the wedding (Matthew 19:9). Often that verse is used to justify divorce in the case of infidelity. But, the word is fornication, which is the word used in the NT for pre-marital sex. If the verse meant infidelity, it would have used the word adultery. In the case of adultery? Just stone her to death.

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