The Woman of Your Dreams
Thursday, April 9th, 2009
I was reading an article containing an excerpt from Kathryn Joyce’s Quiverfull over at the Friendly Atheist. He quoted a section detailing the marriage of Peter and Kelly Bradrick. I wondered, “Who are these people? I’ve never heard of them!” And I thought I had heard of all famous fundies! So I did a quick Google search and came up with this little gem. These are actual wedding vows of an actual bride within the last five years:
I, Kelly Jeannette, covenant before God and man, to you Peter David Bradrick to be your loyal wife and to submit myself under your headship. Just as the Church is subject to Christ, so I will be to you in everything. I will live first unto our God and then unto you, loving you, caring for you, obeying you, and ever seeking to please you as my earthly lord. I will be your discreet, chaste keeper at home, diligently, industriously, and faithfully caring for the affairs of your household so that your heart may always safely trust in me. If the Lord chooses to so bless us, it will be my delight to be your fruitful bearer of children, and I will help you diligently teach them the commandments of the Lord as we talk of them in your house, as we walk by the way, when we lie down, and when we rise up. Wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, And your God, my God. The Lord do so to me, and more also, If anything but death parts you and me. I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph, I pledge to you my life as an obedient and faithful wife.
Even as conservative as I used to be, I cannot even fathom using these as my vows. Sorry, Steve!
Actually, as a side note, one of the things I love about Steve is that he sees me as smart and independent enough that I honestly think he would reconsider marrying me if I tried to say something like that. (Okay, he might like the “earthly lord” part! hehe) I am so grateful to be thought of as capable enough that I don’t need an authority figure to run to over every little thing. I am glad to have a man that does not think that a pair of testicles exempts him from doing the dishes and who thinks I can be even more than a baby factory! Growing up, I was taught that it wasn’t a value based on domination or control, but protection. We women would feel safe underneath a man’s authority. (“V” for Vendetta, anyone?) My parents relayed to me the message from a speaker who spoke at a homeschool convention (though I don’t know who it was): That women who tried to work outside the home, be their own person, and value independence were ICE Queens: Independent, Capable, and Efficient. For whatever reason, that’s bad. Really, now if someone called me independent, capable, OR efficient, I would take that as a compliment! Anyhow, I must say that I do feel rather safe and protected just by being a partner. If he gives me advice, I listen to it, and choose whether or not to follow out of my own free will. Unlike children who need to obey to stay safe, I am an intelligent enough person to realize when he is being rational and I take his advice quite often.
I know that many people in this movement are happy, or at least put on a happy face, but I often wonder what happens behind closed doors. In my experience, the private is not nearly as pretty as the public, but I am not everyone, and I was not quite this conservative (though sadly close). As far as the vow itself, does anyone understand the part that says “The Lord do so to me and so much more if anything but death parts you and me”? Does that sound to anyone else like she’s asking God to strike her down if she dares make a mistake, like have an affair or be unhappy enough to try to leave? Or even if he tries to leave her? Sounds like she is taking all of the responsibility if anything goes wrong to me!
Kelly, by the way, had a baby less than a year later named Triumph Perseverance, and late last year, had another one named Knox Defender. Competing with the Palins, I assume. . . Okay, that was mean. My apologies.
(Vows found via Vision Forum.)
Tags: Christianity, fundamentalism, Quiverfull, religion
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April 9th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
As far as the vow itself, does anyone understand the part that says “The Lord do so to me and so much more if anything but death parts you and me”
I probably wouldn’t read too much into what she meant by this, I would guess that it was a paraphrase of the verse from Ruth below. Maybe a different translation would be closer to her paraphrase (NIV below).
Ruth 1:16-17
But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.”
My wife’s wedding vows were not too far off the mark from the ones you posted in sentiment, though not as explicitly spelled out as this example. And we had a song sung that was based on the Ruth passage above. Oh my…
April 9th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Utterly, completely, horribly REPULSIVE! In my most conservative, fundamentalist time, I was some of this sort of stuff and was appalled. I do feel sorry for these poor, beaten down women whose value as a human being has been brainwashed out of them. And have you EVER seen ANY vows for the husband like this? Maybe something about “I will give myself up for you. I will wash your feet. I will always seek to serve you and NOT TO BE SERVED.” NO YOU DO NOT SEE THAT! You only see the women beaten down and subjugated and ruled over.
And those poor kids. Saddled with ridiculous names. Raised to subjugate or be subjugated.
It would not cause me a single qualm to grab a *@!$^*( BASTARD like Peter and drop him in the ocean.
Sheesh. Trying hard to turn off me hate/rant mode.
April 9th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
The part where she will manage HIS home really got to me. I mean holy shit. These people seem to define marriage as hiring a housekeeper/whore… who can NEVER QUIT.
April 9th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
Yes, I found a blog post by another couple who espouses these same beliefs where the newlywed husband proclaimed his appreciation for his wife who does such a terrific job serving him. He had lots of nice things to say about her, but they all involved her cooking or other external factor. He never once said anything nice about her as a person. I thought about adding that in there, but decided it didn’t really fit with the rest of the post.
April 17th, 2009 at 8:00 am
If you haven’t seen it already, No Longer Quivering shows some of that behind closed doors stuff.
April 17th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
No, I hadn’t seen that. Very interesting–thanks for the link!
January 24th, 2010 at 9:12 pm
First of all, here are Peters vows. They are just as commiting as Kelly’s. These two people ( unlike most) are willing to commit themselves to each other for life! They are willing to make sacrafices for each other and to both do there part to have a wonderful and prosperous life together. if half the people in this country were as willing to make personal sacrafices for the good and benifit of their famillies we wouldn’t be in the mess we are now.
Open your eyes people.
I, Peter Bradrick, covenant before God and man to you Kelly Jeanette Brown to be your loving husband and to lead you, to protect you, and to provide for you in the fear of the Lord.
I vow to love you as my wife even as Christ also loved the Church,
To lay down my life for you,
To wash you with the water of the Word,
To love you as my own body and to nourish and cherish you even as the Lord does the Church,
To render unto you the affection owed you, knowing that I do not have authority over my own body but you do,
To dwell with you according to knowledge, giving honor unto you as unto the weaker vessel, and living together with you as heirs together of the grace of life.
You alone will be my delight as the wife of my youth. I will fight for you, for our sons, for our daughters, and for our household. The Lord do so to me and more also if anyting but death parts you and me.
I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and times of triumph.
I pledge to you my life as a loyal and faithful husband.
January 24th, 2010 at 10:52 pm
Thank you, Jessica! I didn’t see them, otherwise I would have posted them, too. Where did you find them?
I think it’s great that they are committed to each other, but I also think it’s important to remember that a good marriage does not equal lack of divorce! Take it from someone who knows.
(Also, I would note that my problem in NO way stems from their commitment to each other, but the actual content of the vows, which I find appalling. But you are more than entitled to disagree with me!)